Flowers

Was it not only a few hours ago
that I was relieved that we had talked
on the steps
until you felt cold
And I walked down Broadway
and picked the flowers from the lady
at the corner
where we always go
And she  asked about
you and how long I had known you
and all these questions
that I could not answer
or would be lying if I did

And I had watched 
the silent irises
and and the sleeping tulips 
for most 
of the
night
to be sure
that they would be alive
when you
saw them
in the morning

What has happened between then and now
did I do wrong
did I do another
really stupid thing
when all
I  wanted
was
for you to be happy

And today you told me about
your freshman year affair
and the surreal chunks of
time and space
that was not you
and I wished 
that I could have been him
even for just
a second of that
night some years
ago when you 
shared the same bed
and she was not
you

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